I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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