my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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