even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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