Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
