Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
