lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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