If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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