Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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