The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
