sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
