That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you will always have a special place in my vag
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
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I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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