His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
