Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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