I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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