we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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