I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
