Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
