What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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