i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
