Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This baby is an asshole
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
