that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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