I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
