No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
