it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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