HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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