Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
