i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
