He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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