He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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