HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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