Betty ford says i'm here all night
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
