You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
