never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
