Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
