he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
