so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
