Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
