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Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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