pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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