Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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