chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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