Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I want to make a zoo with you.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
