How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
