I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
