Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
