my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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