Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
