He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
