By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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