Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
