I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
