Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
