I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
