Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
