in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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